Trending on Twitter “The worst thing about Depression”

I have treatment resistant depression. The worst part is doing all the healthy things you can to get better and waking up to find you have to climb another mountain to get through the day. My days often feel like I’m in the middle of trench warfare during WW1. I have the added blessing of uncontrollable anxiety which sometimes prevents me from leaving the house, answering the phone terrified that I will run in to a roommate and have to act “normal.” When what I want to do is scream and say I think I’m going to beat my head against the wall or climb out of my skin. But instead I slink into my bedroom, fold myself into the smallest piece of humanity possible and take really shallow breaths so no one will know I exist.

I don’t want to share this because of the stigma and:

  1. Sometimes I pretend I’m okay because I don’t want to annoy people with my problems.
  2. Who wants to hire a person hiding such a large and uncontrollable flaw?

“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.” Robin Williams

2009-02-02-depressed

Depressed drowning

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Amazon’s 100 Books to Read In a Lifetime – How many have you read?

Amazon’s 100 Books to Read In a Lifetime – How many have you read?.

My result was abysmal for a prolific reader. However, many of the books are just not suited to my taste. I’m going to venture outside my comfort zone and start reading some of these unread books!

WHY ANOTHER BLOG?

I want to see if I can establish myself through words in this era of blossoming communication between varying peoples and countries. To reach out and touch someone in another land with my thoughts and feelings and have them do the same.

I think I am a good writer and this experience will help me become better at writing for the needs of now and the future. I am taking a “Writing for the Web” class and I’m hoping I might find my passion through these interconnected classes and freelance writing experiences.

An artist and her inspiration.

An artist and her inspiration.

Blog, blog, blog…

When do you know the word “blog” has been in your mind too much in too little time?

  1. When you’re taking an online class about writing for the web and references to blogs and blogging are everywhere.
  2. When you try to work on this, your personal “blog” and you forgot everything you thought you knew about blogs and blogging, (which wasn’t much.)
  3. When you seriously question your ability to ever have an intellectually and visually inspiring blog that people will flock to, or at least want to read occasionally.
  4. When you’re sick to death of the subject, like right now, but a little voice says “just google blog and see what comes to the surface.”
  5. When you go to google anyway like a well-trained human of the 21st Century and see that there is even a jigsaw puzzle blog and jigsaw puzzles are your one way to zone out on-line.
  6. When you steal from a blogging site the simplistic meaning behind having a blog in the first place just so you can see the forest for the trees: A blog is your best bet for a voice among the online crowd. It’s a personal website, packed with features, as easy to use as your e-mail.